Healing from eating disorders & shifting mindset to find joy in fitness with Kinsey! Ep72

Richard Conner 0:00

Hi everyone. Today we’re going to talk about finding joy in exercise beyond the number on the scale. Our guests today, Kinsey will share her experience with an eating disorder and compulsive exercise. Through this conversation, you’ll hear tips on how you can embrace your health and wellness journey, while having a healthy mindset and finding the right balance when exercising. Hope you enjoy.

Intro/Outro 0:24

Welcome to Inspire to run podcast. Here you will find inspiration. Whether you’re looking to take control of your health and fitness or you’re a seasoned runner, looking for community and some extra motivation. You will hear inspiring stories from amazing runners, along with helpful tips from fitness experts now here’s your host Richard Conner.

Richard Conner 0:47

Hi, everyone. Welcome to inspired around Podcast. Today we’re here with Kinsey from field good social Kinsey as a fun loving adventure living in Colorado who loves to ski hike, rock climb, and occasionally trail jog. She grew up in a very active family with a canoe racing father, but developed an eating disorder in high school, which caused her to shift her perspective when it came to exercise, training and racing. Through her healing journey. She learned to lean into the activities that bring her joy, take the pressure off performance and still stay active and intuitive and healthy way. So welcome to the show Kinsey.

Kinsey 1:26

Hi, Richard, thank you so much for bringing me on the podcast. I’m so excited to be here. And I just have to say I love your pod. Podcasting voice. You have a great voice, man.

Richard Conner 1:38

Well, I appreciate that. And that’s probably why a good friend of mine told me Well, why don’t you start a podcast and instead of some other things I was thinking about doing at the time. So here we are, but I’m excited to have you on the show as well. And for listeners Kinzie and I met not too long ago and you know, really love Kinsey story. And I’m really excited for her to share it with all of you. As we talk about you know, the three pillars that we talked about here on the show are on mindset, movement and motivation. And you know, while running may not be Kinsey’s primary form of movement, we’ll say she’s got a really great story around that and other things that are like this, she wants to share. So you know, Kinsey, let’s just kind of kick things off and learn a little bit more about you.

Kinsey 2:20

Definitely, well, like Richard said, my name is Kinsey. Hi, guys. And, yeah, I’m excited to come on here and just chat about just exercise and just being active in a way that like, makes you feel good and brings you joy in general, right, because, like it was said in my bio, you know, I do have an interesting journey. I think unlike some people when it comes to being active, and training and all that different stuff, I grew up in like a very, somewhat like competitive family, I would say very active family, you know, my dad was actually a racer, and for the 1980s Olympic kayak team, and he has been racing his entire life, we had a canoe and kayak business, we’d go to the canoe and kayak nationals every year, he also loves to run as well. And he kind of got me into that too. But you know, it, it turned into something that developed into an eating disorder and stuff. And so I’ve had to kind of definitely shift how I approach being active and exercising and all that different stuff. I do feel like I have said, like healed through the journey and whatnot. But still, even today, you know, I would say, a good eight years, at least, like since I’ve really felt like I’ve had eating disorder issues and whatnot, you know, I’m still like, you know, cautious and like thoughtful about the way that I approach movement and exercise and all that stuff. So excited to chat about this.

Richard Conner 3:52

Yeah, of course, I appreciate you sharing that. And this is an area admittedly, that I’m not too familiar with. So I’m certainly going to learn through this conversation. And we don’t have this topic on the show too much. So this would really be great to hear a little bit more about your story, how that began for you what it was like so we you know, our listeners can learn a little bit more if they’re going through similar things that you went through in the past. So tell us a little bit about how it started for you to start with getting into running and sports that kind of triggered eating disorders or like how did things start for you?

Kinsey 4:27

Yeah, and you know, I think I probably should say I’m not like an expert about eating disorders whatsoever. And if anyone is uncomfortable, uncomfortable with like this sort of conversation for sure, like feel free to like not listen in and stuff because I know it can be somewhat triggering for some people and stuff. But I do think it’s like very, very important to talk about this stuff because it can be so easy to somewhat like fall into unhealthy habits I think especially when it comes to training, like the training mindset right? I wear and especially like for me I do relate it with running just so much because because it is like such a trading mindset where you’re like really wanting to be careful about what you put into your body in order to feel good sometimes right and stuff. But yeah, for me, I’m you know, I’ve had an interesting journey throughout my life where I came from the competitive family was an only child, all that different stuff. And we I grew up in Montana, doing a lot of active outdoor adventure things. And then when I was in middle school, my family moved to Indiana where my family has originally been from, right, so my parents were moving home. For me, it was ripping me out of my mountain home and into the middle of a cornfield. I felt like and so um, that’s kind of where it began with, like, somewhat, the eating disorder mindset of, of needing to have like, some control over my life, right, or needing to have some sort of focus or something like that. My parents also got divorced a few years after we moved to Indiana, and that was once again feeling like I was losing control of my life. At the same time, I was going through puberty and body issues and growing up in the generation where the supermodel magazines, we aspired to be, you know, and so it kind of all mixed together where I felt like I, I loved exercising, I loved running because it gave me focus, it gave me that runner’s high, you know, the, the exercise high and stuff, but it becomes a point where it gets it became a little bit too addictive for me or I was like, expressing my emotions and my want for like, having control over my life into obsessive eating and obsessive exercising, right. And so that’s kind of how it ended up developing for me plus, having like, a father who did have that competitive mindset, and he actually came from a family who struggled with, like, being overweight, you know, and so for my dad, like, it was really, really important, the body image thing, right, and so just all of these swirling things into, yeah, developing an eating disorder and having to, you know, starting to, I guess, I should say, really obsess over, like, what I was eating, you know, and controlling what I was eating, also obsessing over how much I was exercising, making sure I was like, exercising enough and, and doing all these different things. And through the healing process, I really had to kind of like rewire the way that I approach trading and exercise, right. So like, a lot of times, I think, I think especially on maybe conversations like that you have on your show and whatnot. It’s all about, like, the motivation to like to get off the couch, right, the motivation to do that. Whereas, like, I’ve had to kind of, to, like, turn around and like listen to my body and just, like, take the pressure off of myself to be active in a way right. Um, so I guess, like, just sharing my journey, like, I really started a healing through from the eating disorder, of course, I went to therapy that is like, so so helpful for no matter where you are in your life, or who you are, I totally recommend that you go to therapy, whether you’re just trying to make a decision over what to eat every night for dinner, or if you have like major trauma going on. But anyway, therapy was super, super helpful. And also learning to not exercise because of a fear of like getting fat or like a fear of, you know, or a need for control, right learning to exercise because I love it learning to eat because I love it. And like taking the pressure off of myself to exercise taking the the obsession away from eating right, and learning to just like relax and find joy in the way that I move in the way that I eat right so I actually moved back I moved back to the west, I’ve moved to Colorado about 10 years ago and coming back home feeling like I belong again. And then also finding joy and hiking and rock climbing and skiing and all of those activities that I truly love and that I don’t associate with like this controlling addictive like habits and whatnot like um, that was truly truly helpful and slowly I have come back into running I really do truly enjoy running I love like zoning out and listening to a podcast and or just like running and like being in my own head and having my own thoughts like trail running has been super fun just like running through the woods, you know, and like looking at that tree and seeing a bird over there and stuff like that. And yeah, and I so I but when I say running I do have to say I associate my type of running with like the fee Be from friends kind of running, or it’s like flailing your arms. Like, I have not like I tried to take the pressure off myself when it comes to it, right? I try to allow myself to walk what I want to walk to jog, when I want to jog, to maybe sprint to that tree, because I don’t know, I just want to make a race out of it for like 50 yards or something I don’t know, that is my approach to running now. And that’s where I really find joy in it. So that was a long winded way of telling my story. But

Richard Conner 10:29

no, I really appreciate you telling your story. I mean, and there’s a lot about that, that we’re going to talk about. But just for our listeners who can’t see Kinsey did a really nice impression of Phoebe running. So we’re going to have to hope to share that with you. But But all seriousness, I really appreciate you sharing with your story. Because this is the other side, I guess a fitness, right health and fitness is kind of taking it from, you know, maybe one extreme maybe over to the other. And you know, I love the way you told your story about really acknowledging that. And then taking action by going to therapy and really looking at other activities that are fun, that are outdoors, which is what you love, but also not having something that’s really tied to, you know that to eating disorders and being in control. So I appreciate the way you categorize it, but also the approach that you took to to get to where you are today.

Kinsey 11:23

Yeah, thank you. Thank you for allowing me to share for sure. Because yeah, it’s definitely one of those things that for me, it felt like a slippery slope. I think you know what I mean, and maybe just, and I do not think like, just to be clear that the anorexia that I struggled with had a lot like it did have to do with body image. But it also had to do a lot with like, mindset and like, what I was going through in my life, right, but then it was a slippery slope for me to fall into. Okay, I love this, like, Let’s do more of it. Let’s do it. Let’s do more of it. Until it became like obsessive exercising, right. So yeah, I think that it’s one of those things that a lot of times, maybe people find themselves getting into, like, those kinds of habits. And, and they don’t even realize it until they’re in it. Right. And so I think awareness is a really great thing to start out with, for sure.

Richard Conner 12:18

Yeah, for sure. And that’s, that’s what we’re looking for, to help others through this podcast and through these conversations is to help you take that first step or take action in terms of your health and fitness, right, if you’re looking to make a change in your life, but do it in a way that’s healthy, right, doing the way that best serves you and your body and your mind. So that’s why this conversation is really helpful to not take it, you know, in another direction. And I was actually just talking to somebody about this earlier, you know, I don’t know how the things goes, but it’s sort of like, you know, I came for the snacks when they say for the conversation, or, like, I came for the memes, but I really, I stayed for the comments, you know, something like that, like we attribute running to, you know, a lot of folks will come into running from like a health and wellness perspective, but when a finding through my conversations is that they continue to do it for the mental benefits for, you know, that serenity for that therapy, and that comes out in a lot of the conversations for folks that are kind of along in their journey. So it’s not to say that you shouldn’t get into running, but again, just building that healthy habit to reach your goal and not taking it in a different direction.

Kinsey 13:29

Yeah, and I think like, for me, too, a lot of it is like, monitoring my, like, competitive mindset in a way, right? Where it’s like, I truly enjoy loving and I’m gonna, loving, running. I truly enjoy running and I’m like an active person. And it’s not something that I want to stop. But it’s something that like, if I feel myself like kind of getting into the mindset of hat like forcing myself to do it of being performative, right of like overdoing it. And so that’s, at least for me, where I definitely need to, like, kind of become aware and reel myself and a little bit, right where I know that that’s like, where it gets a little bit slippery for me, whereas like, you know, if I’m just like, exercising, because I enjoy it, and I love it and like, and I’m allowed, and I’m listening to my body, and I’m allowing my body to like, regulate, regulate and the way it needs to like that’s like, so, so amazing, you know, so just, it’s one of those, like, Fine Line situations, I think, at least for me personally,

Richard Conner 14:39

for sure. And then, you know, tell me a little bit about movement. So you know, you talked about the running that you did before, like, were you running on your own, were you running races like how did that performative spirit I guess come out or presented? So?

Kinsey 14:55

Yeah, I think that I think that the competitive A pressure that I was putting myself honestly probably did come a lot from my dad and his mindset and like, kind of going running with him to begin, you know, and, and I would go running with him and it was nice, you know, and then I kind of just started getting like, too into it right? You know, and a lot of it does have to do with body image I know earlier is like, it doesn’t all have to do with body image. But you know, you do start to get compliments on like, your body in the way you’re looking. Oh, wow. Can like and and then this, like fear kind of crops up of okay, well, I better do more of it. Okay, well, I can’t stop doing it. You know what I mean? Because then what will happen? You know, I feel like, at least for me, a lot of times, it’s like, it’s hard to get started. But then when you get started, it’s like a fear of losing momentum if you stop, right. And so and that happens to me with anything that I’ve had to deal with that like business too. It’s like, okay, well, I’m go go going, like, can’t stop now. Because then everything will burn to the ground. It’s not gonna burn to the ground. I talked about this all the time, too. It’s like, it’s New Year’s resolution culture, right? Where it’s like, Okay, I’m gonna start my diet tomorrow. And then you eat a doughnut and your diets over? It’s like, no, okay, you can continue, you know, eating healthy. One donut is not gonna like screw up the diet. Right? So I think that when I was in high school, and like, I really started obsessively exercising it was it was running in a way that I didn’t enjoy. If we’re honest, it was running to perform, it was running to maintain. It wasn’t running, because I was like, finding joy in it. Because I was finding like, mental clarity or like peace, right? It was running around the track at our high school like 500 times, you know, it was running on the treadmill, you know, because I had to, you know, and so since then I like yeah, I learned to, to just like, get curious about why like the why behind my exercise and the why behind like, running even, I still love running. But like, if I’m running, it becomes a slippery slope. But I’m like pushing myself too hard, right? Like I said earlier, like, oh, I can dare myself to like sprint past that tree, because that sounds fun. But if I’m like sprinting, sprinting, sprinting and find myself turning into that mindset of like, push, push, push, because there’s like, because I have to, but I’m not enjoying myself like that’s is that helpful. Sorry.

Richard Conner 17:32

That is very helpful. And it’s interesting that you say that, because I found myself in a similar situation last year, one of my goals was to run an obstacle course race, all three levels of declare obstacle course race. And by the time I got to the third level, it took me seven hours on the side of a mountain, in less than ideal conditions. hurt myself a little bit along the way. I mean, it wasn’t terrible, but I wasn’t really happy about that. And at the end of it, I was just like, Okay, I just want to go home now. So I was happy that I did it, you know, is one of my goals is to overcome fear and do things I’ve never done before. So for sure, check those boxes by doing that particular race. But afterwards, I realized, you know, what, if I’m not truly finding joy in this particular level of race, that’s not where I’m gonna focus my time, that’s not we’re gonna spend my time I want to do other things where I feel like I will find more joy in doing those. So I could totally relate to you in that way. That it’s really important to love and enjoy what you’re doing not just do it, as, you know, just one way to see a number on the scale or a way because you feel like you have to do something a certain way because people are watching or judging. So I can totally relate to you know, in that regard.

Kinsey 18:51

Oh my gosh, totally. And like, and I’m glad that you brought that up too. Because because it’s not like you have to enjoy every frickin minute of exercising, right? Like I like, I’m I love rock climbing, it scares the heck out of me. Like, and I found myself on the rock multiple times, like screaming the F bomb feel feeling scared out of my mind feeling like shaking like I can’t like move my arm up, you know, and like, and, and I love it, even though I hate it in those moments. And there have been so many times within those moments that I’ve just like, not loved rock climbing. But like I feel how it helps me grow mentally right to like, kind of push myself like in those scenarios, right and stuff like that. And so and so it’s it is one of those things I think it’s just like honestly being self aware and understanding like, like who am I and I love that you have that like an example of like making the choice between like, okay, like, I tried this, I made it but like I kind of hurt myself. I didn’t enjoy it. Like let’s not focus on these types of races. Let’s maybe like shift over to the other things that I actually enjoy more. Right. And that’s, that’s exactly what I do too. And, and yeah, so it’s not like, it’s not like you have to enjoy every single second of running, but, but yeah, becoming self aware and if it becomes like, if anything in your life, you know, it’s addiction, right? It’s like if anything in your life becomes like, too obsessive or too, whatever, you know, just like, question it, you know, and make decisions about like, okay, like, do I need to make some shifts? Or do I need to focus elsewhere? Or make a change of some sort? You know?

Richard Conner 20:37

For sure, for sure. And, you know, one of the questions that I like to ask, but I feel like we’ve already been talking about it is, is really around, like, what is the biggest obstacle that you faced in your running or health and fitness journey? And how did you overcome it? So would you say that that was the eating disorder? Or would you would you talk point to something else?

Kinsey 20:59

I would say, I would say that, like, the eating disorder, really spurred it was one of the biggest challenges, I would say, in my own health and fitness journey. I mean, there’s still like, remnants of like it whenever I feel stressed out, you know, in my habits and stuff, and, and I have to become aware of that sort of thing. Um, yeah, I would say that like, just learning to, like, actually listen to my body, and like, intuitively understand, like, how much I want to be eating and like, and how much and how I want to be exercising and stuff, that’s been like one of the, the best things I’ve learned, I think, in my health and fitness journey, you know, instead of like, putting pressure on myself to perform or feeling like, I have to do something like trusting my own body to, and giving it what it wants, you know,

Richard Conner 21:58

for sure, for sure. And I think that’s applicable for anybody, no matter where you are in your journey. If you’re not a runner today, and you’re looking to do something different and make a change and get into running, I think it’d be helpful for those folks to know that, right? Instead of thinking, Well, I have to be this Star Trek athlete to run my first 5k. And if I’m not that I’m not a runner, but also those folks who have progressed a little bit in their journey. And just really, like you said, listening to your body and having the right mindset and having that balance, to necessarily not not overdo it or taking it in the wrong direction. So I do appreciate you sharing that I’m also interested in, in hearing a little bit about you talked a little bit about the other types of activities that you’ve gotten into, but also you’ve come back to running it sounds like so I’d love to hear like is that kind of in your future is to incorporate a little bit of running in your future along with the other activities? Or what’s your what’s your take there?

Kinsey 22:56

Um, yeah, definitely. Like, I would say that running is my like, choice of exercise. That’s not like skiing, or rock climbing or hiking. You know, like, when it’s not doing some fun adventure if I just like want to move my body today. I’ve also learned to use running. I, when I whenever I started my business, I hired a mindset coach, right to work through business mindset issues, and personal mindset issues for sure. And one of like, the helpful things like especially I’ve learned, like, if I’m having like a super stressful day, right in my business or something, if I’m feeling like just like stuck or frustrated or whatever it is, like going on a run is so frickin helpful. Right? Like expressing that energy. Like if I’m ever having like a bad day in my business or anything like that. I sit with my body and I’m like, Okay, are you feeling exhausted? Are you feeling like burnt out? Do you feel like you literally need to go take a nap right now and rest? Or I can feel this like right it’s like a physical feeling. Are you feeling like you’re about to like shake and explode because you have so much energy and just like either frustration or like too many ideas or like whatever it is like you know, do you have too much energy and do you need to express it right like so that’s how I have you really used running honestly. In my in my personal life and food like honestly it’s been helpful for my business for the past like few years is like feeling if I’m if I’m feeling some sort of emotion that needs to be expressed then like running is so so helpful for me for like clearing my head. I come back and I can sit down again and I can start working again right? Or if it’s like emotional, I can come back I can have a conversation with someone without like, chewing their head off or whatever that looks like right? So that’s how I use running a lot. I also just like enjoy it. It is it is actually very, very like my It helps me it’s like peaceful, you know, truly is like, it’s nice to give yourself that time to just like, be with your thoughts, you know, or that time to listen to your favorite podcast, right? Like, I love giving myself that time for either me or to do something that like, I wouldn’t make time for other otherwise, right as like a small business owner, working a lot, you know, like, make your own hours, you know, and stuff like that. So I really enjoy. Yeah, I enjoy running. I have, you know, fallen off the running trains through the winter, but I want to hop back on. And I actually, I was laughing when you’re asking how I’m using running in my business, or just in my life in general, because I bought some new running shoes this past summer. It was time. But we were actually in South Carolina for a month because my husband was renovating this house and stuff. I live in Colorado normally. Right? And so I walked into the reading store. And I’m like, Okay, so we’re just here for like, a month. And then we went back to Colorado, they’re like, I don’t think we have tread for you, girl. You know, we did find some like good shoes look, good job that worked out here as well. But it was kind of funny. And also, I had to ask them about running past alligators. Because that terrifies me. And the girl was like, it’s like running in Colorado past a bear. It’s fine. Like that does not happen. Like it’s not the same. So that was kind of like a funny experience that I recently had with running. But the shoes are great. And I’m going to start again soon, hopefully.

Richard Conner 26:37

I love that. I have to keep that in mind. If I’m ever running, would you say South Carolina?

Kinsey 26:44

Oh, yeah. Alligators frickin everywhere. And like they’re fast, man. I’m like, kind of semi low key obsessed with them. Because like, I just think that they’re so interesting. But she’s like, just keep running. If you run past an alligator, and the other lady in the store is like, nope, turn around. Like she’s like, thank you. That’s what I’m saying, man.

Richard Conner 27:06

That’s really funny. I love that. Very cool. So you know, I love this conversation. And thank you again for, for being so open and authentic about your story. And again, I’m sure that there are listeners who might be going through some similar things or might have similar thoughts. So kind of as we wind down here, what would be the one thing that you would say, to I normally say, inspire our community to run, but let’s just say inspire them to move, whether that’s running or hiking, or canoeing, or whatever their form of movement is?

Kinsey 27:41

Yeah, I mean, I definitely think that the best thing you can do is to get to know your own mind and your own body, right? Because I mean, I think this can be applied to whatever in business or in life, or whatever it is, it’s like, everyone is different, you know, and everyone has different motivations. And everyone needs something different in order to be motivated or whatever. Right. So like, I think that that ultimately is like, the best thing that you can do is think like, Okay, well, what, what do I like, need, you know, what does motivate me, and like leaning into that, and you can totally, like, maybe just get curious yourself or like, get a coach or even a therapist and like help with that sort of thing. A lot of times, like really getting to know yourself, your own mind and your own body and what you need is like the best thing, but for me, like if the if there’s anyone out there, like who relates with my story, and maybe thinks that they’re similar to me, I think that taking you know, I come I come from a very performative family of a family who pushed me to be competitive, you know, who pushed me to, to exercise to be the best I could be, you know, not only with like, my body and exercising, but also like in school and all that stuff, like, and I think that one of the best things that I’ve been able to do is shift the way that I think about it, so that it’s not about performing. It’s not about the competition. It’s not about doing things and moving for like anyone except for myself. Right. And so, for me, taking the pressure off of myself to exercise is what allows me to want to do it and like enjoy it, you know what I mean? And so, if you like, I don’t know if this is relatable are that for like your listeners, but if maybe they’re feeling not motivated to do it, because they feel like they have to do it, you know, maybe it’s about just like, instead like, getting excited about doing it, or like finding something that you can get excited about doing it. Or taking the pressure off yourself and be like, I don’t need I don’t have to go on a jog today. I’m gonna go out on a walk and like, find five things that are interesting on the path, right and like, that’s what or I’m gonna Go out on like a walk jog Phoebe situation and like, and just listen to a podcast that I’ve been wanting to be that I’ve been wanting to listen to. And I wouldn’t listen to it any other time, unless I like give myself this time to do it, right. Like, that’s what has been really helpful to me personally for like, this sort of stuff.

Richard Conner 30:19

Really, really great tips Kinzie thank you so much. So for our listeners, Kinzie is a wonderful marketer and entrepreneur has her own community and podcast. So Kinsey, if you just want to take a couple of minutes to share, you know, for our listeners who are entrepreneurs, or marketers or themselves, who you know, looking for a new helpful resource, tell them a little bit about the work that you do in your podcast.

Kinsey 30:43

Yeah, thank you so much. I have my own podcast that we’re podcast buddies. It’s called the feel good social podcast. So it’s for down to earth entrepreneurs who are looking for practical advice for showing up online in a way that feels authentic to them, and marketing their business in a way that feels genuine and good to them. Right. So feel good social podcast. I do a lot of interviews with just like other rad people such as Richard who share their stories I share like actionable tips and all that different stuff. You can find feel good social podcasts on any of the podcasting platforms, just search feel good social, or at feel good social.com and feel good social on Instagram. And I would love to connect with you. If you send me a DM I would love to hear from me give you a follow back and we can start the conversation over there. So I do have lots of free branding and marketing resources. I have a quiz called the brand vibe quiz. It’s what’s your brand’s vibe, it’s really fun. It’s like seven questions. And it’s kind of like a personality test for your brand. So if that’s interesting, then definitely take my revive quiz because it’s really fun to take. Especially if you like personality tests and you need help with branding. It’s a good one.

Richard Conner 32:00

Very cool. Very cool. Thank you Kinsey for sharing that. And I’ll put your information in the show notes to make it easy for our listeners to find and follow you online and I wish you well in your journey wherever however your fitness journey looks like going forward. But I appreciate you sharing your story here with us and our listeners.

Kinsey 32:18

Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate it dude.

Intro/Outro 32:23

That’s it for this episode of inspired to run podcast. We hope you are inspired to take control of your health and fitness and take it to the next level. Be sure to click the subscribe button to join our community. And also please rate and review. Thanks for listening

Transcribed by https://otter.ai